Sweat is dripping down into my eyes. And although I can barely see the road ahead, I do not slow down. I have been fleeing from it for three days and two nights in which I have slept no more than a few minutes.
Three days ago I realised that something was not the way it used be. At first I ignored it. Taking it for something else, even though in my heart I knew that it was there - waiting for me. I couldn't believe it. Everything always seemed alright, my live went smoothly down its road. Now I know it has been going down a long time, but then -
Wait. There it is. Casting a long shadow on the road before me. I have to control myself. Do not let fear creep into my thoughts. I have to hide. There in that shadow. That's better. Now it can't see me.
I have to keep my breath. No, it can't see me. It's going away.No. I'm right here.
Sure it will. Go away!Never.
My heart is beating like a drum. Sure it can hear it. I can't see it anymore!
This part of the town is dark. Most of the street lights are broken and have never been repaired. There aren't many people here. And those who are, are hiding from someone or something too. At least I am not alone. I have never been alone -
But where can I go? Maybe if I leave the town, it can't find me.Sure I will.
But what can I do? It must not get me, it must not take control over my mind!I already have.
I'm good at this. I could always keep myself under control. I only have to gather my will and walk slowly down the road, making one step after the other. I will fight it.No you won't. It does not make sense.
But then it does not make sense. It can't be fought. In the end I will loose. But I must not give up. My mind is spinning - always around the same thoughts. Maybe I should go back. Ignore it. Until now it didn't harm me. I could live my live as usual, going down that path, that seems to be my destiny. I can live without it.I can't live without you.
Ignoring it will be hard at first. But then slowly but surely it will drift into the background, like all pains. Time heals all wounds. I will be save. Even here it can't harm me. It is not even there. Silly that I should make such a fool of myself, thinking about something that cannot be. Sure, there have been rumours about its existence. But I do not believe in these things. Our world is build up of atoms and energy. There has to be a rational explanation for everything. It surly is nothing more than an illusion.
The wind is brushing through my hair. I am cold and I still feel exhausted. But I'm happy now walking along that road again without fear. I can see everything now. There will be no more surprises for me on this way. But what if I take the other way? It shouldn't matter. Everything is alright now.
Yes, everything is alright.
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